So one month of taking my chiropractor's advice, and what do I have? Two days with no period. I'm not even going to get into the weirdness of my chiropractor giving me better advice than my OB/GYN. I'm also not going to get too excited yet because..
I, unfortunately, also have a negative pregnancy test.
What a horrible story to go along with taking that test too. Ugh. Each time I've taken a test, I get up early enough so Jared is still at home. I will not take a test if he's not around to share the news. So I woke up and took the test this morning, and it looked like there was instantly two faint, pink lines. I put the test on the floor and ran out to Jared, smiling and saying "there's two lines!!" We hugged and shared the joy of finally being pregnant. "Its our turn now," he said. After a few minutes, something made me want to check the test again. So I did, and Jared followed me in the bathroom. Gross as it is, what I thought was the first line was just the light reflecting on a drop of pee that was on the test. The other line was a bright pink, and it was the only line there. We hugged again for a few minutes, letting the disappointment sink in.
But then we thought about it a bit more. I've still missed my period so far, and that hasn't happened in the 7 months I've been off birth control. Why would I miss it now? That's a good question to research!
Pregnancy is the #1 reason for a missed period. A second reason could be stress. I have been stressed at work recently, but I don't think its been enough to throw off my body's cycles. I'm really thinking that I have to be pregnant, as unlikely as I feel that could be given that we didn't try at all this month (meaning, we didn't have sex on purpose according to my ovulation schedule). It is apparently very possible that I don't have enough of the HCG hormone yet to be detected by a test. I've read that some women don't get a positive pregnancy test until they are a few weeks pregnant (and some never get a positive home test).
Its extremely hard for me to not get crazy excited right now. I've brought things up as if I am, like plans for announcing the gender, who would we tell right away, nursery designs, etc. My urge to revisit saved wish lists on Babies R Us is almost too large to ignore. I really don't want a disappointment, though.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed that a little Jana or Jacob is growing in my belly right now. :)
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Back to Basics
With anything in life, when you've failed over and over again, there comes a time when you need to take a step back and reassess. You've tried a few different strategies and none have worked. Its time to look at things from a new angle. That time for us is now.
As it turns out, the third time is not the charm. Despite the different strategies used, new plans made, and lots and lots of sex had (TMI, I know), I am still not pregnant. I can't tell you how horrible it feels to be asked "so when are you two going to have kids?" when you've been trying for months with no luck. It doesn't always happen right away, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. The timing is perfect. The strategies have been sound. We've been staying healthy and active. The only thing that could be stopping us is.. us.
It could be our bodies; it could be our minds. Just in case its my body, I made an appointment for my yearly check-up. I'd want to wait to see if its Jared's body, provided mine has no issues. Our minds? That's an entirely different problem.
I happened to have an appointment with my chiropractor on the day we tested and got the negative result. I see him a lot, for anything physical (not allergies and stuff like that), so he knows me pretty well. After I gave him the run down of what was giving me a hard time (thanks to the running I was trying to do), he asked how everything else was. I said "pretty good," and he could somehow tell there was something on my mind. So I told him. We've been trying to get pregnant for 3 months now. He said "And how's it going?" "Not good. I'm using the ovulation tests and everything, but its not working." His response: "Have you tried not using those tests? Just let it happen naturally."
He told me that our bodies know when it isn't a good time to get pregnant. If you're stressed out, you won't get pregnant because it isn't a healthy environment for the baby. I've been told and read the advice "don't stress about it, just have fun!" so many times, and I really didn't think I was stressed out. I still don't think its that bad, but I've decided to ditch the tests. All of them. We're going to get pregnant and find out about it the way nature intended. I don't think this will be stress free, but its got to be better than what we've been doing.
I'm going to try to keep this out of my head and spend more "quality" time with Jared (wink, wink). If someone had told me when we first started dating that we'd reach a point when we'd have to make an effort to have sex more often, I would have laughed right in their face. I guess it happens to everyone. We've settled into a routine that doesn't include sex as often as it used to. I've packed on some pounds (again) and am just not as comfortable with myself as I want to be. There are too many excuses, and its time they stopped.
So, I may not post as much anymore. I'd like to say that the next time I post, there will be a baby brewing in my belly. I hope that's the case, but I will not stress over it. I'm sure I'll be stressing enough once I am pregnant, and then for the rest of my life as a parent.
As it turns out, the third time is not the charm. Despite the different strategies used, new plans made, and lots and lots of sex had (TMI, I know), I am still not pregnant. I can't tell you how horrible it feels to be asked "so when are you two going to have kids?" when you've been trying for months with no luck. It doesn't always happen right away, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. The timing is perfect. The strategies have been sound. We've been staying healthy and active. The only thing that could be stopping us is.. us.
It could be our bodies; it could be our minds. Just in case its my body, I made an appointment for my yearly check-up. I'd want to wait to see if its Jared's body, provided mine has no issues. Our minds? That's an entirely different problem.
I happened to have an appointment with my chiropractor on the day we tested and got the negative result. I see him a lot, for anything physical (not allergies and stuff like that), so he knows me pretty well. After I gave him the run down of what was giving me a hard time (thanks to the running I was trying to do), he asked how everything else was. I said "pretty good," and he could somehow tell there was something on my mind. So I told him. We've been trying to get pregnant for 3 months now. He said "And how's it going?" "Not good. I'm using the ovulation tests and everything, but its not working." His response: "Have you tried not using those tests? Just let it happen naturally."
He told me that our bodies know when it isn't a good time to get pregnant. If you're stressed out, you won't get pregnant because it isn't a healthy environment for the baby. I've been told and read the advice "don't stress about it, just have fun!" so many times, and I really didn't think I was stressed out. I still don't think its that bad, but I've decided to ditch the tests. All of them. We're going to get pregnant and find out about it the way nature intended. I don't think this will be stress free, but its got to be better than what we've been doing.
I'm going to try to keep this out of my head and spend more "quality" time with Jared (wink, wink). If someone had told me when we first started dating that we'd reach a point when we'd have to make an effort to have sex more often, I would have laughed right in their face. I guess it happens to everyone. We've settled into a routine that doesn't include sex as often as it used to. I've packed on some pounds (again) and am just not as comfortable with myself as I want to be. There are too many excuses, and its time they stopped.
So, I may not post as much anymore. I'd like to say that the next time I post, there will be a baby brewing in my belly. I hope that's the case, but I will not stress over it. I'm sure I'll be stressing enough once I am pregnant, and then for the rest of my life as a parent.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
The Pastime Formerly Known as Sex
Someone called me a prude once. I can totally see why. Being around strange, naked or half-naked people makes me uncomfortable. I feel awkward talking about sex and avoid using most terms (including sex). I mean, really. For a blog about getting pregnant, go back and count how many times I've used the word sex. I'm sure its surprisingly low given the topic.
But I'm going to put my adult hat on for a few minutes so I can share something that's been weighing on my mind. If you know me in a capacity such that you don't want to know anything about my sex life, you can stop reading now.
I was watching a show last night called "Sex: How it Works." They talked about how necessary it is to survival, not only of human-kind but of our individual lives. The connection it gives you with your partner is unbelievable. The stress that is relieved through sex is incredible. Not to mention its amazingly fun. :)
Since we've started trying to conceive, though, sex has changed. It is now referred to as baby-making because that is its purpose. Not to say that its become all scientific and boring like some people warn will happen. On the contrary, they have been the most romantic experiences. Its just different when you know you could be creating life. I think the emotional impact of something so monumental is almost detrimental to every day life, though.
Regular, fun sex (as opposed to baby-making) just doesn't happen as often. We're so caught up in the timing and the excitement, that we forget we can have sex when I'm not able to get pregnant. Here's the typical schedule:
Last week of the month - have sex at least once a day when ovulating **fun, romantic, exciting**
Two weeks - waiting to find out if I'm pregnant **exciting, nerve-wracking, a little scary**
Days before missed period - take pregnancy test **disappointment**
Next two weeks - researching ways to increase fertility and putting them in action **motivated, stressed**
..Repeat..
This baby-making process has been consuming us. We took a step back two nights ago and realized what we were doing. This is supposed to be fun and exciting. Of course its disappointing when the test comes back negative, but we make whatever adjustments are needed and get back up (pun totally intended). I think we've got this figured out now; I'm just hoping we can keep the excitement going for as long as it takes to finally make a baby.
(Sorry, Mom.)
But I'm going to put my adult hat on for a few minutes so I can share something that's been weighing on my mind. If you know me in a capacity such that you don't want to know anything about my sex life, you can stop reading now.
I was watching a show last night called "Sex: How it Works." They talked about how necessary it is to survival, not only of human-kind but of our individual lives. The connection it gives you with your partner is unbelievable. The stress that is relieved through sex is incredible. Not to mention its amazingly fun. :)
Since we've started trying to conceive, though, sex has changed. It is now referred to as baby-making because that is its purpose. Not to say that its become all scientific and boring like some people warn will happen. On the contrary, they have been the most romantic experiences. Its just different when you know you could be creating life. I think the emotional impact of something so monumental is almost detrimental to every day life, though.
Regular, fun sex (as opposed to baby-making) just doesn't happen as often. We're so caught up in the timing and the excitement, that we forget we can have sex when I'm not able to get pregnant. Here's the typical schedule:
Last week of the month - have sex at least once a day when ovulating **fun, romantic, exciting**
Two weeks - waiting to find out if I'm pregnant **exciting, nerve-wracking, a little scary**
Days before missed period - take pregnancy test **disappointment**
Next two weeks - researching ways to increase fertility and putting them in action **motivated, stressed**
..Repeat..
This baby-making process has been consuming us. We took a step back two nights ago and realized what we were doing. This is supposed to be fun and exciting. Of course its disappointing when the test comes back negative, but we make whatever adjustments are needed and get back up (pun totally intended). I think we've got this figured out now; I'm just hoping we can keep the excitement going for as long as it takes to finally make a baby.
(Sorry, Mom.)
Sunday, June 16, 2013
I hate this. Period.
Well this is the second strike. No baby yet. Ugh, this is a frustrating process.
Took two tests that came back negative, but it didn't really hit me until that thing I was supposed to miss, made an appearance anyway. Stupid period. I hate it.
Jared is cutting out alcohol almost entirely since it supposedly slows down his army. He is motivating me not to drink soda as much. Its working pretty well.
I also read that you should be uh, practicing, every other day. The idea of saving up a few days worth of his little men to increase chances of getting pregnant is actually the opposite of what happens. Guess it gets crowded in there like the mall on black friday, and everyone just gives up. :/
Ok so armed with new info and better strategies, we're on to the next round. Man, I really hope the third time is the charm.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Worse than Waiting for Christmas Morning!
We've done all we can now to get pregnant this month, so now its just a waiting game to find out if it worked! This is the worst waiting game ever.. :(
There's plenty of things to do while we're waiting though. For example, I've been filling up most of my time planning for next month's efforts if this one isn't successful. Less alcohol for Jared (alcohol slows down his little men), more exercise for me. Hooray. I've also started to really kick the soda (I mean it, this time.. no, I swear, I really am done with it). We've also talked about all the possibilities - sickness/disabilities, twins (or more..please no), abnormal pregnancies, etc - and what we would do in each situation.
We've talked about the differences in how all of this is affecting us. I wrote in a previous blog about my friend telling me pregnancy is kinda a lonely experience. No one else is going through exactly what you're going through, and your husband will never fully understand it. I see that now. At this very moment, I could have another human being living inside of me. I'm extremely excited and a little scared about that. This all got very real for me when we tried to get pregnant knowing I was at my most fertile point (thanks to the ovulation test). But for Jared, this won't be real until we tell everyone we're going to be parents (I'm not assuming this, its what he said). I know we'll get there soon, but I wish we were on the same emotional page from the start. This does feel lonely.
In about a week, I'm going to take a pregnancy test (or two), and we have our fingers crossed that it'll be positive. I feel like I got a sign yesterday that this is the case. I went to my cousin Danielle's baby shower, and they played the word game. We couldn't say "baby" or "Sadie" (the baby's name), and if we did, we had our game piece taken from us. The person with the most pieces at the end of the shower won a prize. I kept an ear open to everyone around me and ended up with 10 pieces at the end. I opened the prize, and it was an outdoor decoration with an owl on it. I haven't mentioned this yet in my blog (cause it would be crazy to think this far ahead for normal people), but I really love owls for a baby's room theme. I had to take this as a sign that I'm pregnant! :)
There's plenty of things to do while we're waiting though. For example, I've been filling up most of my time planning for next month's efforts if this one isn't successful. Less alcohol for Jared (alcohol slows down his little men), more exercise for me. Hooray. I've also started to really kick the soda (I mean it, this time.. no, I swear, I really am done with it). We've also talked about all the possibilities - sickness/disabilities, twins (or more..please no), abnormal pregnancies, etc - and what we would do in each situation.
We've talked about the differences in how all of this is affecting us. I wrote in a previous blog about my friend telling me pregnancy is kinda a lonely experience. No one else is going through exactly what you're going through, and your husband will never fully understand it. I see that now. At this very moment, I could have another human being living inside of me. I'm extremely excited and a little scared about that. This all got very real for me when we tried to get pregnant knowing I was at my most fertile point (thanks to the ovulation test). But for Jared, this won't be real until we tell everyone we're going to be parents (I'm not assuming this, its what he said). I know we'll get there soon, but I wish we were on the same emotional page from the start. This does feel lonely.
In about a week, I'm going to take a pregnancy test (or two), and we have our fingers crossed that it'll be positive. I feel like I got a sign yesterday that this is the case. I went to my cousin Danielle's baby shower, and they played the word game. We couldn't say "baby" or "Sadie" (the baby's name), and if we did, we had our game piece taken from us. The person with the most pieces at the end of the shower won a prize. I kept an ear open to everyone around me and ended up with 10 pieces at the end. I opened the prize, and it was an outdoor decoration with an owl on it. I haven't mentioned this yet in my blog (cause it would be crazy to think this far ahead for normal people), but I really love owls for a baby's room theme. I had to take this as a sign that I'm pregnant! :)
Thursday, May 30, 2013
:)
Today is the day!! I got a smiley face on my ovulation test this morning, meaning its the first of two peak fertility days. *Cue the Barry Manilow song*
Even though we "tried" in April, today feels like the first legitimate attempt at getting pregnant. I've been keeping better track of my fertility with those pee sticks every morning, so we know the timing is right. If we don't get pregnant this time, we'll need to look at changing something like our diets. I mean, I even hung upside down off the bed afterwards so gravity made it easier for the little guys to reach their goal.
This has to be it.
Even though we "tried" in April, today feels like the first legitimate attempt at getting pregnant. I've been keeping better track of my fertility with those pee sticks every morning, so we know the timing is right. If we don't get pregnant this time, we'll need to look at changing something like our diets. I mean, I even hung upside down off the bed afterwards so gravity made it easier for the little guys to reach their goal.
This has to be it.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
"If at first you don't succeed.."
"..try, try again!"
The time has come to give this a second try. After talking with my friend (who is now pregnant with her second!), I've decided to use more than an online calculator to figure out the best days to try. Jared was kind enough to get some "ovulation tests" yesterday, so we'll be able to pinpoint the exact days we need to kick it into high gear (how many ways can I get around saying "have sex," I wonder).
No dice yet.
The time has come to give this a second try. After talking with my friend (who is now pregnant with her second!), I've decided to use more than an online calculator to figure out the best days to try. Jared was kind enough to get some "ovulation tests" yesterday, so we'll be able to pinpoint the exact days we need to kick it into high gear (how many ways can I get around saying "have sex," I wonder).
No dice yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)