With anything in life, when you've failed over and over again, there comes a time when you need to take a step back and reassess. You've tried a few different strategies and none have worked. Its time to look at things from a new angle. That time for us is now.
As it turns out, the third time is not the charm. Despite the different strategies used, new plans made, and lots and lots of sex had (TMI, I know), I am still not pregnant. I can't tell you how horrible it feels to be asked "so when are you two going to have kids?" when you've been trying for months with no luck. It doesn't always happen right away, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. The timing is perfect. The strategies have been sound. We've been staying healthy and active. The only thing that could be stopping us is.. us.
It could be our bodies; it could be our minds. Just in case its my body, I made an appointment for my yearly check-up. I'd want to wait to see if its Jared's body, provided mine has no issues. Our minds? That's an entirely different problem.
I happened to have an appointment with my chiropractor on the day we tested and got the negative result. I see him a lot, for anything physical (not allergies and stuff like that), so he knows me pretty well. After I gave him the run down of what was giving me a hard time (thanks to the running I was trying to do), he asked how everything else was. I said "pretty good," and he could somehow tell there was something on my mind. So I told him. We've been trying to get pregnant for 3 months now. He said "And how's it going?" "Not good. I'm using the ovulation tests and everything, but its not working." His response: "Have you tried not using those tests? Just let it happen naturally."
He told me that our bodies know when it isn't a good time to get pregnant. If you're stressed out, you won't get pregnant because it isn't a healthy environment for the baby. I've been told and read the advice "don't stress about it, just have fun!" so many times, and I really didn't think I was stressed out. I still don't think its that bad, but I've decided to ditch the tests. All of them. We're going to get pregnant and find out about it the way nature intended. I don't think this will be stress free, but its got to be better than what we've been doing.
I'm going to try to keep this out of my head and spend more "quality" time with Jared (wink, wink). If someone had told me when we first started dating that we'd reach a point when we'd have to make an effort to have sex more often, I would have laughed right in their face. I guess it happens to everyone. We've settled into a routine that doesn't include sex as often as it used to. I've packed on some pounds (again) and am just not as comfortable with myself as I want to be. There are too many excuses, and its time they stopped.
So, I may not post as much anymore. I'd like to say that the next time I post, there will be a baby brewing in my belly. I hope that's the case, but I will not stress over it. I'm sure I'll be stressing enough once I am pregnant, and then for the rest of my life as a parent.
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